Tuesday, March 17, 2015

4 months out ...

So as my life has been going on for the last four months I've had some great things happen, and still happening.  

We have committed to buying and building a house in Santaquin. Hopefully it will be finished by July/August before school starts back up.  It's going to be nice to be somewhere to get a fresh, new start and continue to live life, being happy and helpful to others around me and my family.   We are excited about the bigger house and the new location.   Things are so much slower paced down there, and it still keeps me close to family and friends as needs arise and I need help.  

We're planning a trip to St. George over spring break which will be right after General Conference and Easter.  I need to get away and go somewhere for a change of scenery.  And this will accomplish that.  The kids and I will have a blast I'm sure.  Now to find where I put the printout for the reservations we made.  haha.   

In October we'll be heading to Disneyland!   I'm so excited about that.  Hopefully I don't regret doing this especially being myself with six kiddos.   I must already be insane to attempt something so crazy like this.  But it will give the kids some happy memories and great times with their cousins just a month shy of the 1 year mark.

I hope to take them camping a few times over the summer, but in the midst of packing up this house, I'm not sure how easy it will be.  We've got girls camp in June,  Day camp for Thomas, Youth Trek in July... it's going to be interesting to see how I can make things work out. 

And the most exciting part in my life is that I met someone!  Well I actually meet lots of people, but this person, he is special.   I've had a great time getting to know him, and meeting him in person since we met online.  We've hit it off really well and I haven't laughed so hard in a long, long time.   He helps me feel alive and excited about life again.  It's nice to have someone to care about, and who cares about me.  The kids have met him, and the boys are really excited.  (Probably because he's a pilot, and the boys like his truck)

It's amazing how I never thought I'd be in this spot only 4 months out.  I've made a choice not to be so sad about everything anymore.  I'm done with that part. I want to live life and be happy and that means moving forward.  Sometimes I can't go quite as fast as I'd like because of the kids.  But when I'm planning and doing things I'm so much happier.  So now I'm trying to dig out of the "I don't care" attitude that I had for the first three months and now I'm climbing up and forward once again.   

I know that there will be times when I'll be overcome with emotion in the upcoming days, weeks or months and even throughout the years, but I know that I'm done living in the past thinking of things I've lost or won't be able to do, or for the simple fact that Chris isn't here anymore.   I know he doesn't want me to be sad. He wasn't a sad person and he made me laugh a lot, and (made me frustrated a lot too).   But he doesn't want me to be alone and he doesn't want me to be sad, So I'm choosing to not be sad anymore. And it's almost a miracle that I met such an amazing man so soon.  It's going to be interesting to watch and see where this goes.   It's refreshing and fun to have a special person in my life again.  And this man's hugs are the best!  I really enjoy the time that we get to spend together, and we might have to get creative in the future as to how we can spend time together But if this is meant to be things will just "work" out in a sense.  That's how it's always been for me, and I can only hope that it continues with this situation to.   

I haven't been this happy in such a long time.  I haven't laughed so hard and had a smile plastered to my face in a really long time.  It's fun to have this kind of excitement in my life.  He's a really great guy, and has had his own challenges, but who doesn't.   I'm excited and look forward to getting to know him better.  Maybe it's true that they say great things are still to come.   

I saw a quote the other day that I really liked
" If life can remove someone that you never dreamed of losing,
It can replace them with someone you never dreamt of having."  

I feel completely comfortable with him, and I feel peace about this whole thing.  So for now, I'm going with it.  I find myself deeply smitten with him, and enjoy being with him and talking with him.   It's all good right now.   Crossing my fingers it can stay this way.