Friday's Myths and Facts _1

Today I sit and wonder about a lot of things! 

MYTH:  I've observed some things since I've moved into our new home in Santaquin just four months ago.  In my head I pictured that the house would not have trash laying about because of my children. I thought they would magically clean up after themselves and that all remnants of anything resembling trash would end up in the garbage can.  

FACT: Said kids leave said trash around said house.  
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MYTH: In my head I imagined that my front room which is termed the piano room would remain my CLEAN and TIDY all the time room. We'd reserve it for chilling in the evenings, and when visiting teachers or friends come over that want a fun room to visit in. 

FACT: Said room is the first stop in the door and said kids above leave their things in there all the time.  Right now there are throw blankets all over the room.  It'd take like five - seven minutes to tidy the whole room up but what am I doing first?  That's right entertaining myself and pumping myself up for a day full of more tasks like that.
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MYTH: I thought I'd never fall down my own stairs because I'd always hold onto the rail as I'm going up or coming down. 

FACT:  Just a few weeks ago I ended up with a sore bum because I was being productive and cleaning trash from my room because I had a late night snack and then fell asleep the night before.  I didn't have a free hand because it was more than one late night snack and right at the bottom of the stairs  BUMP, thump and CRASH.  Needless to say I now take more time coming down but going up I climb it like a stinking monkey. I'm using my hands on the stairs ahead of me and crawling up them like I'm an animal.  (My dog Lexie beats me every time)
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MYTH: I thought I'd be parking in my garage that is attached to my house.  I've never had a home with this setup and was really excited for it. 

FACT: Because of my own doing and wanting to clear space on the inside of the home we moved ALL the boxes and STUFF that we moved in to our house into the garage.  I was only parking in the garage for a few days before I banished my own vehicles from using that space as I had intended.  Now it's on my to do list ASAP because of my pretty new car that I want parked in there.  But these days I have the  motivation of a snail and seem to move very slowly. Maybe it's just the January blues, or maybe I just suck, either way I know it needs to be cleared out.  And half of my mind wants to just load it up and throw it ALL AWAY.  I don't even care what it is. I just want it gone.  But the other half of me thinks that maybe I'll find hidden money in mass quantities and should check every box in there!   Wishful dreaming I know but still it's something I struggle with. 
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MYTH: I thought after Chris died a little over 14 months ago that no man in his right mind would ever want to take on my situation, that being a widow with six kids.  But I was hopeful but not too hopeful back then. 

FACT: Actually there is a man that I have in my life and I love him more than anything. He has come along right when I needed him, and he's helping bring balance back to my life. And I hope that I can do the same for him.  My kids all adore him and he likes all of them and thinks that they are amazing kids.  (Sometimes they aren't though).  Sometime to be determined we'll start a life together, but until then I'm cherishing all the moments we have together and coming up with dreams and plans for the new family unit we'll be in the near future. 

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Stay tuned for next Friday's edition.  I had so much fun with this one, and feel a little bit of my stress and frustrations relieved that I think I'll continue this for an unidentifiable amount of time.  Which means this could be the only one, or it might not.  

A good Monday Laugh....

Okay I laughed so hard when I read this on a friends blog, so I've copied it and had to post it on my own.  So when I need a good laugh, I can come and re-read this.   Thanks Christina!

 

Thinking of Having Kids? An 11-step Program 

This is one of those email shares that is authorless -- if anyone has a source, please let me know.

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.



Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.



Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.



Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?



Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.



Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.



Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.



Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.



Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.



Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.



Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

Our second celebration.... for anniversary number 12

This is LONG without pictures... if you get bored easily just skip this.

A lot has happened recently... some good some bad, and some I'd just rather plain forget about.

We went as a family to celebrate our Anniversary of becoming a family (meaning our marriage anniversary) on the 26th of June.

We decided that after Thomas's t-ball game that morning we would head up to Salt Lake area and hit up some of the "baseball" card shops that Chris had looked up a while back. We had a mapquest map and everything, and had planned to go to a certain restaurant for lunch with the family.

You see this restaurant used to be in Orem just 10 minutes from us. Up until the place closed several years ago. This of course, made our family sad because we couldn't frequent it very much anymore.

Yeah, we still went but only when we were driving 40 minutes plus in the car to do other things... and well, just not as convenient to drive home that far after eating.

The place was/is called Super Salad... if you like Salad this is the place to go!! Not kidding!!

So are day started out with a t-ball game that Thomas played in, followed by coming home and Chris doing a few things and within an hour or two we were ready to leave.

First stop was to go to the restaurant that was shown to be near all the card shops we wanted to check out. No such luck. The place had gone out of business or moved, whatever the case it wasn't there anymore.

Now I'm dealing with 5 children saying how hungry they are and need to eat right now or they would DIE. Oh the dramatics of those creatures.

So we decided to head to Sweet Tomatoes instead, I had a coupon in the car and it showed that within a mile from our current location was a store. We found the store no problem... only we did have a problem. The parking lot was EMPTY. Notta car anywhere... Strange. Because it was lunch time.

Found a not taped to the door that said something like.. Closed for Emergency repairs ...please enjoy visit our other location (one we've been to before, but not really close). Great Strike 2.

So we proceeded to head to the other location, which we knew how to get to. Got there and were able to eat no problem.

The girls noticed a guy that looked like "Robby Ray" from Hannah Montana, sitting in the restaurant and were getting all girly about it... they were kind of funny.

I had to go to the bathroom area, and unknown to me, as I was standing up this guy was getting up from across the room and we started walking in the same direction.

Now, don't go getting all crazy -- YET. I knew what my girls were thinking about this guy, and couldn't help but start giggling, and then he bumped into me as we passed. Accidental of course, but I couldn't stop laughing. Needless to say the girls thought it was funny. And so did I. (Sure wish I would have taken a picture DANG!!)

So after lunch....

We headed to the first card shop... NO LUCK... Second one.... out of business.... third one.... (I can't remember...oh wait, it was in the basement of someone's house, so we weren't going to stop there) Found the 4th one, but they already closed for the day. Found the last one, and had a hard time finding it... call the number and find out the business is still a viable business, except the owner was out of town for a family emergency for a few weeks....

Can you say BUM DEAL???

Although, we were able to go and visit with his sister and her family for a few minutes. So it wasn't a complete loss.
We would have visited with some other friends but knew they were out of town, so we didn't even try.
So we stopped at Target near Chris's work and looked at baseball cards there instead. And of course, he bought a few packs.